He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened. — Lao Tzu
Hopefully we’ve put some meat on the skeleton truth that “A great marriage comes from two people walking in the Spirit, loving one another.” Prayerfully, you’ve even had a chance to test it out a little. Now I’m going to ask you to do something more extreme than that.
First, take the list of “flesh flavors” and go away and pray. Say, “Lord Jesus, by Your Spirit, reveal the filth of my flesh—the repulsive flesh, let me see it. I want to hate it. I want to nail it to the cross where it belongs. Do this in me.”
- Performance flesh
- Religious flesh
- Superior flesh
- Comfort flesh
- Victim flesh
- Caretaker flesh
- Pleaser flesh
- Indulgent flesh
- Hostile flesh
Then get together with your spouse and have a conversation like this: “Here’s what the Holy Spirit revealed to me about my flesh.” Tell them what He’s told you. Be honest and humble, asking for forgiveness where necessary. The key words here are “my flesh,” not “your flesh.” It’s not your job to say, “Hey, let me point out these flesh patterns I see in you.” No, that’s not the exercise.
When Libby and I did this I said, “You know what, I’ve got some ‘pleaser flesh’ and some ‘passive flesh.’” And she said, “Yeah, yeah, I see that.” Your spouse will be a wonderful confirmation of what the Holy Spirit is saying to you! Getting it in the open was a major step that broke the mold of old patterns. We prayed about it and then were able to begin walking together in the Spirit, following the Spirit’s promptings in new ways.
That might be a radical step for you to take, but I pray that you will take it as a new step of faith.
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:25)
The Spirit is in you. Take some time and then get in step with what He is doing.
Spirit, thank You for being a constant presence in my life. Give me the faith to take practical, even radical, action to keep in step with You so that You can love my spouse and others through me in a way that might lead to great relationships. Amen.
Listen to Pete, Jill & Stuart Briscoe on the Telling the Truth broadcast at OnePlace.com