Healing with Parents
We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Our parents are deeply connected to our lives on some level. And whether our families are intact or not, whether our parents acknowledge their love for us or not, whether they've made a mess of their lives or are a picture of perfection, they are still our parents. They once held us in their arms and had hopes and dreams that our lives could be better than their own. Parents are deeply vulnerable to hurt from their children. When our lives are damaged by the effects of addiction, our parents will be vulnerable to the pain.
Solomon had plenty to say about how wayward children can hurt their parents. Here are some of those comments from the book of Proverbs: "Foolish children bring grief to their father and bitterness to the one who gave them birth" (Proverbs 17:25). "A foolish child is a calamity to a father" (19:13). "Young people . . . with wild friends bring shame to their parents" (28:7). "Anyone who steals from his father and mother and says, ‘What's wrong with that?' is no better than a murderer" (28:24). "Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace" (19:26).
We have the capacity to cause grief, bitter sorrow, calamity, shame, and disgrace to our parents. These are many of the things we reap in our own lives when we are dominated by an addiction. Even if our parents have contributed to our problems, we can still take responsibility for our side of the relationship by doing what we can to make things right with them.
Coming to terms with our parents is an essential part of our recovery.
Taken from The Life Recovery Devotional: Thirty Meditations from Scripture for Each Step in Recovery by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Copyright © 1991 by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.